Go Fishing!

It’s easy to pass on a fishing trip. There are plenty of reasons:

  • I don’t eat fish.
  • I don’t like to get up early.
  • I don’t wait to handle worms or shiners or shrimp or other live bait.
  • I don’t ever catch anything.
  • I don’t have a rod or other equipment.
  • I don’t have a fishing license.
  • I don’t know how to cast.

I’m sure you can think of other reasons to add to the list, but fishing has very little to do with most of these excuses and each of the excuses can easily be remedied.

Fishing is about enjoying nature…the sky, the clouds, the birds, the water, an early morning sunrise, an afternoon sunset, maybe even a full moon. Fishing is about the quiet. Fishing is about camaraderie. Fishing can be about fish, but it doesn’t have to be about fish. Fishing should really be spelled R-E-L-A-X-A-T-I-O-N.

Of course, actually catching fish is quite a bonus, providing fodder for tall tales. Who knows, you may even get your picture on a Fishing Wall of Fame or in a future edition of Grandpa’s Fishing Book.

Need to relax? Go fishing.

143

Mom

 

 

Be Still

Last Wednesday morning John and I set the alarm a few minutes early so we could sit out on the dock and watch the lunar eclipse and the blood moon. For almost an hour we sat in the dark watching the moon, stars, and eventually the first light of dawn and listening to the sounds of frogs, birds, and the wind and water.

moon1
John’s picture of the blood moon.

We sat in silence, free from distraction. We were able to relax, unwind, and hear the voice of peace.

I was reminded of a verse from the Bible:

psalm

We live incredibly busy lives. We’re talking on the phone, or texting, to sending email, or doing all three at once. We run from one appointment to the next at a frenetic pace. Our time is spent in front of one screen or another or behind the wheel of the car.

Rushing around is often counterproductive. Sure we get a lot done, but nothing important.

We find ways to stay busy even while waiting in line at the grocery, sitting in the waiting room at the doctor, or while visiting with friends. We fiddle with our gadgets, flip through our papers, read, or do something else to stay productive.

While watching the eclipse, I thought about the early mornings fishermen spend on the water. Maybe it’s not so much about fishing. Instead it’s about quiet and relaxation. It’s about slowing down and doing less. It’s about being still. Catching fish is a bonus.

IMG_6117In the days since the blood moon, I’ve set aside a few minutes each day to sit in silence. Time to take a deep breath. Time without any technology. It’s not easy. I want to plan or solve problems or make lists, but I need to be quiet.

Set your alarm five minutes early or take five minutes before bed. Sit on the porch. Listen. Unwind, Take a deep breath. Be still.

143

Mom

 

 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Working with Emily on a wedding last summer reminded me of the book by Richard Carlson, Don’t Swear the Small Stuff-and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep Little Things from Taking Over Your Life. In the book, Carlson says,

“Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and blow them out of proportion…Whether we had to wait in line, listen to unfair criticism, or do the lion’s share of the work, it pays enormous dividends if we learn not to worry about little things. So many people spend so much of their life energy ‘sweating the small stuff’ that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.”

dontsweatI overheard Emily’s client talking to her on the phone the day before the wedding discussing every imaginable detail of the wedding, with Emily constantly assuring her not to worry, everything is fine, try to relax. In the meantime, I watched Emily deal with one “crisis” after another-not enough material for curtains for the church, spots on the monogram backdrop she’d been working on for hours, dealing with an angry hairdresser worried about the late arriving bridal party, watching weather to determine if changes needed to made, and learning members of the wedding party stayed out too late after the rehearsal dinner. Then around 2:00 on the day of the wedding, I saw her let go of everything that could go wrong and switch to the “let’s take care of business” mode. I don’t know if she realized it, but there was a calm, relaxed change in her demeanor as she approached the finishing touches of a summer’s worth of work. She suddenly quit “sweating the small stuff” and got to the business of coordinating the wedding. She could see the big picture.

The same weekend Meghan shared a story about a letter she received from the state suggesting that she increase her contribution to her retirement account managed by the state. This angered her immensely since the state cut their contribution to her retirement the month before, required her to contribute more, and now they were asking that she increase her contribution again. She told me she grabbed a Sharpie and wrote on the letter that she had already increased her contribution thanks to the moves of the legislature and the governor. She also suggested the state increase their contribution to match hers. Then she mailed the letter back to the state.

Sarah regularly shares stories about frustrating experiences at work: constant schedule changes, lack of staff, unusual clients, a van that won’t start. In fact, the same weekend she grumbled that the office manager complained she was spending too much money at the grocery and  wasting food. As Sarah explained, of course some of the hamburger buns are going to be wasted since they don’t sell buns in packages of two; and yes, she did throw away a zucchini-it was limp! These constant complaints and problems take the joy out of working with the clients  – the important part of the job.

I think Richard Carlson is right. We shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Listen to the criticism and make changes if warranted, do your best on projects but don’t stress out over small mistakes (being a perfectionist is not a positive trait), care about your community, state, and national problems but not to the point that you become one of those crazy, angry people constantly miserable and complaining about the government. And don’t sweat the small stuff when it comes to those you care about. So what if the toilet paper isn’t put on the dispenser? Who cares if there are towels on the floor? Does it really matter if the dishes aren’t loaded properly? Don’t let little things eat at you and interfere with your relationships with others; it’s just not worth it.

Now, I disagree with the second part of the title of Carlsons’s book – and It’s All Small Stuff? I don’t think so. During that storm Emily was watching during the wedding, a neighbor had a large tree fall in his yard that he has to remove, his pipes were struck by lightning which caused major flooding in his house, his $5000 generator was fried by the lightning strike so he had no power. That’s more than small stuff. That may be something to sweat. However, when we stopped by his house, after he told the story of the storm damage to his house, he asked if we’d like to go in his backyard to see the work he’d completed over the summer – how can you say no to someone who’s just as excited to show off his hard work as he is to tell about his problem. He certainly was sweating the damage to his house but he was also focused on the big picture – his house, family, and getting back to work.

Finally, the mother of the bride stopped by Sunday to pick up some items left behind at the wedding. It was great to see her quoterelaxed, excited to talk about the day, and laugh about the little things that didn’t go according to her plan. Only a few hours removed from the stress of planning, preparing, and producing a wedding extravaganza, she recognized that none of the small things could spoil the day. Too bad she had to sweat unnecessarily!

If you have time to read the book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, I highly recommend it. Best of all, it’s short with good tips packed in few pages. And in case you think the book may encourage a slacker attitude – not true – just look at the title of Lesson 3: Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can’t Be Superachievers; but also take note of the title of Lesson 4: Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking.

It’s not easy, but don’t sweat the small stuff!

143

Mom

Get your beauty rest – sleep!

The excitement of Santa’s visit always made getting to sleep on Christmas Eve especially difficult when you were a child. I remember the panic in your voices when you would call me in your room and claim that you were unable to sleep. You asked if Santa would still come if you weren’t asleep. I tried to assure you that, yes, Santa would come; but I also assured you that you would fall asleep. Relax. Everything’s fine. Close your eyes. Sleep will come.

I wish it were so easy! While these words always worked when you were young, getting to sleep, staying asleep, and finding time to sleep aren’t as easy when you’re an adult.

I’m certainly no expert on sleep. In fact, I think I’ve done just about everything wrong when it comes to sleep, but I hope if you start now, you’ll develop good habits and improve your health as well.

So here’s my attempt to convince you that while it’s not always easy, you need to make time to sleep.

Did you know that driving when tired is just as dangerous as driving under the influence?

Did you know that getting only 5 hours of sleep per night increases your risk of developing diabetes by 50%?

Did you know that skin cells hydrate and renew themselves while you’re sleeping? (Thus, beauty sleep!)

Did you know that appetite hormones subside when you sleep?

Did you know that sleep deprivation increases your risk for heart disease and mood disorders?

Did you know that your body naturally craves sleep, food, and water; but lack of sleep causes your body to crave food, especially carbohydrates? (This is why getting the proper amount of sleep helps reduce weight gain.)

So here are a few tips to help you sleep better:

Don’t use electronics or watch TV in bed.

Sleep in a cool room, ideally about 65 degrees.

If you don’t fall asleep in 15 minutes, get up and do something else. You’ll stress yourself out just lying in bed trying to go to sleep. (Sounds like the problem you had on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa.)

Take a hot bath before going to bed, but don’t exercise close to bedtime – too much stimulation.

Keep your cell phone at least 3 feet from your bed and make sure you cannot see the light it emits or hear any sounds from your phone.

Go to bed seven and a half hours before you need to get up. This should enable you to get the 7 hours of sleep you need to be at your best in the morning.

And if a full night’s sleep isn’t possible, consider learning how to nap. A 20 minute power nap can provide a real brain boost.

Hope these tips help, and don’t worry…Santa will come…relax…close your eyes…you’ll fall asleep.

143

Mom