Don’t Be This Guy!

It’s always great attending a University of Miami baseball game at The Light, but when we arrived at the game on Friday afternoon I was more than a little disappointed to see the location of our seats. Sitting in Section D was not the problem since these are chair back seats directly behind home plate, however, upon seeing who was sitting in front of us I knew it would be a long game listening to his constant complaints about the team we’d be cheering.

While we’re only able to go to Miami a couple of times a year, it doesn’t seem likely that we’d end up in the seats behind “This Guy” on more than one occasion, but that’s exactly what happened.

photo 1Of course we recognized him immediately as the guy, the Hurricane “fan”, who grumbles throughout the game criticizing the coach, the game plan, the pitchers, the batters, the umpire, everything about the game. His sarcastic comments can be heard after every play, and nearly after every pitch. It’s hard to believe this season ticket holder finds any pleasure in cheering (if that’s what you call it) for the home team.

It’s true the game started with a 1st inning mental mistake, but not an error, by the third baseman, one that resulted in a run later in the inning, but calling the third baseman names wasn’t necessary.

Shortly after taking our seats it began. Here’s a FEW of the comments made by “this guy” during the course of the game:

  • “What are you doing out there? or Throw strikes. or Come on, (followed by the pitcher’s name)” after every pitch out of the strike zone
  • “How stupid!” when a batter squares around to bunt
  • “Wow” was heard every time a player hit a ball resulting in an out.
  • “Have these people never seen a baseball game before? It’s a simple fly ball.” when fans would begin cheering when a ball sailed into the outfield, only to be caught by a fielder
  • “Oh my God!” when the catcher lost a ball under his feet
  • “The wheels sure fell off fast.” when the team was down by one run
  • “He was safe!” Not in response to a call made by the umpire when a UM batter was called out at first, but when the Cane’s defense made a close play and the opposing team’s player was called out!?!
  • “Great idea, Jim! Why would you do that?” when a runner was thrown out attempting to steal second base
  • “He’s stupid – that’s his style of baseball.” another comment made about Coach Morris
  • “Thanks a lot blue. Get your fat leg out of the way!” as runner advanced to 3rd on a dropped ball by the catcher
  • “We’ve got a .148 hitter up in a game we need to win. I don’t know why Jim leaves him in.”
  • “Coach gets dumber all the time – he won’t allow them to announce the score.” this after Wake Forest defeated Virginia in the 7th inning of the UM game
  • “Hang in there blue – stink to the very end!”
  • “Pick up your sombrero on the way out! Wow!” this after one of the Cuban players on the team struck out
  • “We found a dumber team than we are.” when a UNC runner got caught stealing in the 9th inning

He was even irritated when the Maniac, the University of Miami mascot sat in the seat next to him, asking the Maniac to give him some space. The Maniac obliged and left to visit with fans who appreciated his attention.

photo 3

Now this game was not a blow out! Miami went down 3-0 in the first, but tied the game in the second. The team went down again in the 4th, but again came back and tied the game in the 8th inning. All tied up, the game went into extra innings – 7 extra innings of sarcastic comments – and finally in the 16th inning the Canes won the game. At which point, he turned around and gave John a high five in celebration of the win. Go figure, after 5 hours of sarcasm and grumbling, “this guy” celebrated the win with all those seated around him.

It’s only natural to get aggravated with your team when they make mistakes or lose games, but if they’re your team, either cheer them on or grumble at home. The other fans don’t want to hear your non-stop negative comments.

Please, don’t be “this guy”!



Here are some fans you may want to emulate regardless if you cheer for the Hurricanes, the Knights, or the ‘Noles!