Housekeeper Wanted!

I’ve never claimed to be the world’s greatest housekeeper, but my email inbox is making me a little paranoid. On Monday the people at Real Simple were so kind as to send me an email titled, “13 Steps to a Spotless Kitchen“. I glanced at the tips with mild interest then went for a sail. However, when I received another Real Simple email on Wednesday, “ 20 Tips for a Really Clean Bathroom“, I felt I’d been targeted for a cleaning intervention.

I looked back at the spotless kitchen message which included a checklist. I guess I need to print the checklist, laminate, and then carry it around the kitchen while cleaning. One of the reminders on the checklist: wipe the microwave and dishwasher inside and out. What? I’m suppose to wipe the inside of the dishwasher? I thought running through the cycle with hot water and detergent cleaned the dishwasher as well as the dishes. And in the detailed list of how to clean the kitchen floor starting with sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping; did you know you should be bringing your hairdryer in the kitchen to blow out the dust from the corners of the floor? That was news to me!

Moving on to the really clean bathroom tips, I realized I’m an even bigger failure in the bathroom than in the kitchen when I read the warning about the mycobacterium avium lurking in the shower head that I haven’t properly disinfected. It goes on to warn that this pathogen is linked to pulmonary disease so I’m sending millions of germs into my lungs every time I take a shower!

Other things I’ve ignored in the bathroom:

  • Seal the grout every six months.
  • Apply a coat of car wax yearly to ceramic tile to reduce water marks.
  • Dab baby oil on the soap dish to prevent soap from sticking or sliming up.

And finally, I found that I should be regularly cleaning the fan in the bathroom…not just wiping it off. The article directs readers to flip the circuit breaker, remove the fan cover, soak the cover in soap and water while vacuuming the fan blades and then wiping them with a cloth. Then remove the dust from the motor with a clean paint brush. This sounds like a full day job!

I’ve decided the best course of action…hire a housekeeper! I’m taking applications!